I bought a hard copy of The Long Devotion after a Senior Editor at Literary Mama asked me to write a review. The book sat on my nightstand for months collecting dust. I kept neglecting it because it hit too close to home; the poems and essays stirred up too many emotions I didn’t want to handle. When I finally made it a priority, I read it slowly; just a few chunks at a time. I found myself wanting to savor the words. To sit with them a while; let them change me.
I finished reading it on a rare evening alone. Ironically, I was at the beach, having just journaled about how I should give up writing again, when I read an essay by Molly Spencer. After reading the first line, I found myself nodding vehemently. Spencer writes, “When I was in my late twenties, I made a decision: a decision not to be a writer. … I sensed that an artistic life would be all-consuming and that motherhood would be all-consuming. I didn’t think I could do both, and I chose motherhood.”
I, like Spencer, didn’t believe I could do both. But even as I tried to ignore my identity as a writer, I could feel a deep inner desire for the time and space to write. It was not something I could ignore, no matter how hard I tried.
The poems and essays in The Long Devotion reminded me that writing isn’t optional; it’s essential. I can’t wait for the perfect time to write. Instead, I have to write when I can. Accept that it will be fragmented, and trust that it will all come together when the time is right. It’s nearly impossible for me to write uninterruptedly in this stage of life. To wait for the right time, though, is to close up an essential part of who I am as a mother writer. Even if it's only a few sentences a day, it’s better than none. And eventually, all those sentences will add up.
This week, my book review came out in the March/April 2023 issue of Literary Mama. Writing a literary book review felt like an impossible task, but thanks to the encouragement and advice of incredible editors, the final product is a thousand times better than the original. I hope you’ll head over to Literary Mama and read the review, and then find a copy of The Long Devotion: Poets Writing About Motherhood. I’m pretty you’ll like it. And it’s highly possible it will change the way you think about your creative life.
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