Some days homeschooling is beautiful. We cherish our time together. We read good books, the narrations are near perfect, we breeze through math and copywork, and everyone has a wonderful attitude. These are the best days. The ones where we simply enjoy one another’s company.
And then there are the other days.
The days I feel like a failure almost from the time we get started. The days of constant complaints.
“I just don’t remember!”
“I can’t do it!”
“I don’t know the answer!”
The ones where I think, “Why am I doing this? Why don’t I just send them to school and let someone else deal with these obstinate attitudes? Isn’t that part of why I pay taxes? So that someone else can teach my kids and I can do whatever I want?!”
Although this year, sending my kids to school doesn’t feel like a real option, so instead I think, “I wonder how long school will be part-time. I wonder how many years they’ll have to wear masks. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll send them next year. And then I can spend my time writing!”
Is that you?
Sometimes it’s me.
We have a solid homeschool vision. There are good reasons why we chose this life. But sometimes it’s hard not to lose myself in the endless list of to-dos. There’s always something new to learn. Always another book to read.
Sometimes I wake up and feel like doing none of it at all. Some days the pressure of being Mom and Teacher and Chef and Lover and Writer squeezes me so tight it feels hard to breathe.
Some days, I’ve simply had enough. My temper is short; I didn’t sleep well enough; I feel irritable and not my best self. Discouragement and a lack of clear steps forward cloud my mind. I don’t want to read another chapter. Don’t want to hear another narration. Don’t even really want to be in the same room as anyone else.
It is on these days I most want to give up. On these days, I find myself so frustrated I don’t know how to move forward. I start second guessing every decision we’ve made. Are our lessons too advanced? Are they not challenging enough? Is there a learning disability that I can’t figure out? Are they bored? Am I pushing them too hard—or maybe I don’t require enough?
As I was talking to David about this one day over our morning cup of tea, he said, “Isn’t that why we homeschool? So you can leave the to-dos undone and shake things up a little when the days feel too rough? So you can focus on relationships rather than specific information to be learned?”
He was right. This is why we homeschool. Or at least part of why. Because we value family relationships above all else. Because we know if the relationship is broken, the learning will be too.
My computer-loving husband then continued, “If we have a computer that feels sluggish when we add just one more tab, we don’t consider giving it away. Instead we turn it off for awhile—we reboot so it can clear it’s brain and work again feeling fresh and new.”
At that moment I realized my second-guessing does nothing but harm. In the five years we’ve been homeschooling, I’ve learned there will be good days and there will be bad. It is important for us to reevaluate our homeschool plans from time to time, but not on the days when we feel like a failure.
Like a sluggish computer, on the days we are feeling frustrated and down, we simply need a reboot.
The next time you find yourself in a tough day, or maybe a tough moment in a regular day, consider putting the curriculum on the shelf and focus on your relationships instead. Not sure where to start?
Here are ten ideas for resetting your homeschool day.
1—Go outside.
I always underestimated the power of going outside until COVID hit and we were stuck at home. The last year has taught me that just a few minutes outside can reset everyone’s attitude. I’m thankful we have a yard to play in and woods behind our house to hike in. Even on terrible weather days, we’ve found just 15-20 minutes of being outside can help us get out of any funk we might be in. If you don’t have a yard, consider taking a drive, or find just a corner of a park where you can throw down a blanket and watch your kids play. I like to leave a bag in my car with blankets, sidewalk chalk, bubbles, a frisbee, a notepad and some pens, and a few books so that we always have a few activities if they feel like they are bored when we get to wherever we may be going. But usually, we get distracted by nature around us and just the act of getting outside puts us all in a better mood.
2—Put on some music
We have this entire set and my girls love them all. I love that there’s a learning component as well as the music, itself, so I can feel like they’re doing music class, and I don’t have to do a thing except press play. Sometimes I’ll put on music that makes us dance, or sometimes we’ll listen to our hymn or composer for the term. No matter what I choose, I’m always amazed at how music lifts our spirits.
3—Study Nature
Some days this means going outside (see #1.) Other days, when it just feels too cold or the weather is just too gross, we play nature I-Spy. To play, one person looks out the window and finds something in nature that they think is beautiful or exceptionally cool. As they describe it, everyone else looks out the window to try to find what they are describing. And sometimes we just stare out the window and watch the birds at the feeders. There’s something mesmerizing about getting outside of your own head and remembering that you are just one tiny piece of the greater world that God has created. When you can’t go outside, looking outside seems to help too.
4—Start a new read aloud
At any given moment, we have at least 5 books going for school—one of which is a book that we read just for fun. Sometimes just the thought of starting something new can add some spunk into your day and get everything excited about learning again. Adventures with Waffles is one of our recent favorites. If you need some other ideas for good books to read aloud, check out my “Favorite Books to Read Aloud” over at Bookshop.
5—Make tea and turn lessons into a tea party
This is probably one of my favorite ways to “do school.” I have to admit, when we’re in the midst of a challenging day, I seem to forget that a tea party can pretty much cure all woes. Which is kind of a shame, because it really is one of the easiest tricks in my book! We love Trader Joe’s for their tea selection, but you can also use lemonade or apple cider if tea just isn’t your thing.
6—Play a game
Games make people laugh. They make you have fun, even when you don’t really want to. Games offer a way to connect and build relationships even in the midst of a trying day. I could give you a list of our favorite educational games, but it really doesn’t matter what game you choose. No matter what, you’ll spend time together, your attitude will shift, and everyone will learn a little something new.
7—Make a snack
Quite often the bad attitudes arise when the hunger strikes. I try to keep my fridge stocked with easy snacks—fruit and cheese are one of my favorite things to pull out when the crankiness starts to appear. Popcorn is another great snack. It’s easy to make, includes a brief science observation, and you can turn any leftovers into a handicraft using a needle and thread!
8—Do chores
Some days we just need to move our bodies a little more. We keep a chore chart on our wall, and when I’m feeling like I just can’t listen to one more narration or lead one more lesson, I pull a chore or two off the chart and get us all in action. Laundry is a favorite chore—we like to put audiobooks on and travel to a far away land all alone. The girls also really love vacuuming and cleaning the toilet. Two things I hate, so I outsource it to them as much as possible!
9—Check your attitude
Let’s be real. Sometimes we are our own biggest problems, #amiright? Maybe we didn’t get enough sleep last night. Or maybe we’re stressed over money, a full calendar, a sick family member. Adulting can be hard and if we don’t take time to check our own attitude and own up to our faults, our homeschooling days will suffer because of it.
10—Take a break
This is not one I recommend if you have more failure days than successes. Sometimes taking a break is exactly what you need to get you over a hump—but if you fall into the habit of taking a break every time things get tough, you’ll never have successful days. If you have more bad days than good, maybe something isn’t working and you need to make a shift. For today, give yourself some grace to fall behind on the reading schedule and just love your kids for the day. Tomorrow, reassess to decide if you need a more long-term shift.
Whatever you do, be gentle with yourself. Remember it’s okay to leave some things undone. At the end of your homeschooling years, “The question is not,—how much does the youth know? when he has finished his education—but how much does he care?” (Charlotte Mason).
I’m confident our children will care a lot more about their education and the people around them if we don’t spend quite as much time harping on what they are supposed to learn, and instead spend time loving on each other and the world around us.
How have you reset your homeschool day lately?