This post was originally written in 2013, but got lost in the transition to a new web host. As I discovered it today I felt a need to revive it. Although some of our circumstances have changed - I no longer have to rock and nurse babies to sleep and he no longer has to stuff diapers - but he still stays up way past the time I’ve gone to bed doing the chores that still need to be done. He still loves me more every day. And I continue to be grateful for the gift of him in my life.
I don’t know how I snagged you. After all the brokenness in my life…I don’t know how in the world I found you. My teammate. My soul mate. My partner.
You are the yin to my yang.
The peanut butter to my jelly.
The jam to my toast.
The chocolate to my milk.
You get the picture.
We are good on our own, each one of us. But together … well, together we are unstoppable.
Many nights, when I rock and nurse the little one to sleep, you are hard at work. Cleaning up dinner, stuffing diapers, vacuuming, sometimes you are even scrubbing the shower. So many men would do their own thing – maybe sit down to watch a ballgame, or perhaps spend their time playing video games. But not you – you clean. Without being asked. Willingly. Lovingly. With every sweep of the broom, you are giving me a gift.
It doesn’t go unnoticed. I’m so thankful for every little thing you do.
But tonight, as I rock the little one to sleep, you take a break from all that work and meet with your men’s small group. I can’t help but think about what a good role model you are for men everywhere. You are the kind of husband every woman wants. The kind of daddy every child needs. A man of insurmountable faith, not ashamed to be the kind of man God has created you to be.
You love me. So tenderly. So completely. More than I ever could have hoped for.
We are so different than we were just a few years ago. So much more confident in who we are. Together. And apart.
I can remember calling you late in the night because I was terrified of being alone. I remember your promise – that you loved me – and that even though you weren’t beside me, I wasn’t alone. I remember shedding so many tears – mostly out of fear. Afraid that I would screw up again. Afraid I would push you away. Afraid I wasn’t good enough. That I was destined to be alone forever.
And I remember your firm response – I love you dammit. I’m not going anywhere.
I remember you telling me I was a princess through God’s royalty. I remember thinking you were crazy when you said that. So much of me wanted to hate that imagery – but I had never been called a princess before. Princesses are beautiful – and loved. I had never believed I was either. Until then. And as much as I hated the imagery of God as King – it was the exact image I needed at the moment. It helped me begin to understand just how loved I am.
I look back on those early days and I can hardly believe you fell in love with me. I was so weak. So broken. Such a mess. But you didn’t see any of that. You saw my beauty. My strength. My passion.
You helped me find my confidence. You continue to push me to find my voice – and to be the voice for others. You are … my other half. My better half.
I’m so thankful to be on the same team with you. So blessed to share life with you.