Homeschooling 101: Where Do I Start?

Several weeks ago my inbox was flooded with messages from frantic parents. The message was always something like this …

I think I’m going to have to homeschool this year. Can you help me figure out what to do?

So I put together a survey, and did a short Zoom call. Would you believe that up to this point, I had successfully avoided using Zoom during #corona?? But this seemed like a good reason to give in and go virtual. With parents all across America trying to figure out how to best set up their home environments for learning, I felt like maybe I had a few things to share. I promised to share much of that information in a blog series, so today I bring you Part One, with many other posts to follow this week.

I’m no expert in homeschooling, but after 4 years of trying to figure things out, I have learned a thing or two, and am happy to share what I know with those of you feeling overwhelmed and out of sorts. Whether you are feeling like you want to go all in with homeschooling, or your kids will be home for Virtual/Remote Learning, I hope this series of posts can give you some helpful hints and help you feel more at peace.

Let’s get started, shall we?

Homeschooling 101: Where Do I Start?

First of all, take a deep breath. You can do this. Remember that we are living in a unique time in our life. This is a historical time - we’ve never lived through something like this. Some of our great-grandparents may have experienced something similar back during the Spanish Flu of 1918, but the world was vastly different then. This is a temporary time in our lives. We will come out of it changed, for sure, but this year (or two, depending on how long it takes), will not ruin our children’s education. Or their socialization. So stop what you’re doing, and just breathe.

One of the best pieces of advice someone gave me 4 years ago was to not get caught up in the many years of education ahead of us, but to simply focus on making a decision for the most immediate school year. Every year circumstances change, and educational needs of each child change, and there may be a time when homeschooling doesn’t fit for one or both of our children. So we give ourselves a lot of flexibility to change things as needed. Many of you are looking at homeschooling for just one year, due to COVID-19, and this advice is crucial for you. Don’t stress about your child’s educational plan past this year. Focus only on this year ahead of you.

Now that you’re laser focused on just the 2020-2021 school year, sit down and list out your priorities and vision for your year together. Remember, these are YOUR priorities. The choice you make is 100% okay - this is a no judgment zone! Some questions to think about:

Do you have to work while also schooling your child? Do you have to go into an office? Do you have to work at home, and if so, is it a flexible schedule - or do you have certain hours?

If you have to work do you have people that can help while you work?

Does Virtual Learning through the school system mean your kids will be on the computer 5 hours a day instead of in a classroom? If so, is that something you’re okay with?

Do you have the freedom to forget about standardized education for a year and create something different?

Do you have babies or toddlers to care for in addition to school-aged children?

What do you want your days to look like? Do you want freedom in your days (and do you have the ability to create that freedom), or is it better for your family to have a stricter routine/schedule each day?

Once you’ve thought about your family priorities, sit down and create a Vision for your homeschool year. We choose to homeschool, year after year, because we want a different lifestyle than the one traditional schooling forces upon us. This year, many of us are forced into a different lifestyle, so if you have the freedom to stay home with your kids and a work schedule that can be flexible, I encourage you to think of this year as a year of living intentionally together. This is a wonderful opportunity for you to create a year of learning and a year of memories that you can look back on as a special time together - even in the midst of turmoil around our world.

I know I know …. but you’re worried about whether or not your kids will be able to transition back to public/private school after this year, right? Trust me on this … they will be fine. There are tons of studies that show that kids who are homeschooled transition just fine into a regular school setting - and many times they actually go back to school ahead of their peers. And besides that, listen to me when I say this …. this is ONE year. You are not going to completely screw up your kids’ education in one year.

Yes, you can do this. It’s going to be hard, but it’s going to be so rewarding in the end. I’m going to walk you through creating one of the most memorable years of your children’s childhood  - so take a step back, and just breathe. Nothing worth doing well is ever easy.

Today’s Assignments:

1. List your Priorities

2. Create a Vision

Then come back here tomorrow and we’ll talk about creating a schedule for your year of learning together.

More Homeschooling 101 here.

Photo by Element5 Digital on Unsplash.

Veggie Grain Bowl Recipe

One of the greatest challenges in our CSA Adventures this year is that we get no selection on what we get each week. We’re receiving a prepacked share and there’s no swap table to swap out things you don’t think you’ll use. Instead of being bummed about it, I’ve decided to view it as a challenge, and have found all kinds of new ways to eat veggies!

This Grain Bowl is my new favorite quick lunch or dinner. It’s inspired by this recipe in the latest issue of Bon Appetit. I love it because I used TONS of veggies from my CSA shares. It’s super versatile, and you can really put anything in it. Try it out - and then come back here and let me know what veggies you snuck into yours!

Veggie Grain Bowl

Ingredients:

1 cup cooked farro (or other grain - brown or black rice, barley, wheat berries, whatever is in your pantry)
2 boiled eggs 
Orange Pickled Fennel (see recipe below)
Grapeseed other light-flavored oil
2 Tbsp lime juice
Sriracha to taste
1 tsp soy sauce
1 tsp toasted sesame oil
toasted sesame seeds
1/2 small zucchini, sliced in half moon shapes
1/2 small onion, sliced in small strips
1 cup thinly sliced raw veggies - I used shredded carrots, sliced cucumbers and scallions. 

Preparation:

1. Saute' zucchini and onion in a small pat of butter with a glug of oil. If you have mushrooms, you can throw those in as well.

2. Make dressing - mix lime juice, 2 Tbsp oil, soy sauce, and sesame oil in a small bowl. Add salt & pepper to taste.

3. Put cooked farro in bottom of a large bottom bowl. Top with boiled egg, sauteed veggies, and boiled egg. Drizzle dressing on top. Garnish with cilantro, scallion greens, and toasted sesame seeds.

Orange Pickled Fennel

Slice fennel very thin using a mandolin and place in a bowl. Sprinkle kosher salt, mix well, and leave to sit for at least an hour. Pour fennel into a colander and squeeze to remove excess water. Return to bowl and combine with 1 small orange, sliced and 1/4 tsp ground pepper or 1 Tbsp whole peppercorns. Pack fennel and orange into a clean mason jar, and cover with apple cider vinegar. Stick in the refrigerator for at least 24 hours before enjoying. Should last 2-4 weeks in the fridge (but mine always get eaten way before they go bad).

My God, My God, Why Have You Forsaken Me? (transcript of recording)

As I write this, we’re on the third day of cold, rainy, dreary weather. As if it’s not enough to have the world on lockdown, now I can’t even enjoy the yard and woods that surround my house. More than once over the last week have I thought these same words ... “​My God, my God, why have you forsaken me​?”

Why does it feel like the world is caving in?

Why don’t you do something to stop it?

Why can’t you use your powers to push evil away?

Why can’t you just give us a few weeks of sunshine to help us pull through this awful, unbelievable time we’re leaving in?

As I reflect on my own situation, as I reflect on this weird time we find ourselves living right now, I’m drawn to the image of Mary at the foot of the cross. Can you imagine what it must have felt like to see your son, dying in your midst, and knowing there was absolutely ​nothing​ you could do to prevent it, or to even make it a little more palatable?

I think about those overwhelmed healthcare workers on the front lines, in overwhelmed hospitals, and the gut-wrenching decisions they are having to make. The ones who have to sit by and watch people die, knowing there’s nothing they can do to ease their pain, and the pain of those who love them.

Maybe you, like me, have had those times over the last few weeks where you’ve just felt helpless. I’ve always understood living out faith as a call to action ... a call to ​DO​ something to make life easier for those who find themselves in tough places. A call to ​be present ​with those who find themselves struggling. And yet here we are, in a time where the call to action is “Don’t go do anything. Don’t be present with anyone but your immediate family. Just stay home.”

It’s no wonder that we may be feeling that God is forsaking us in this strange time. It feels like everything we’ve ever learned about how to live out our faith is being challenged right now. Like Jesus on the cross, we’re wondering why God doesn’t just reach out and DO something. Why doesn’t good prevail over evil?

Isn’t that the real struggle with Good Friday? It’s a truly painful day. A day when we see this Jesus that we have grown to know and love hanging on a cross, because of nothing other than his Goodness. A day when we get a glimpse of his own inner struggle, his own pain, his own anger that evil wins this match.

Of course, we know the end to the story - we know that Good prevails. That God prevails. We know God does reach out and act - and that moment is even more glorious than the one that we long for.

And because I know the end of the story, I can feel comforted by the fact that even Jesus wondered why he had been forsaken. I can feel comforted by his pain and uncertainty. Comforted by his willingness to die - alone - on the cross, so that he had a full and complete experience of what it means to be truly human.

On this Good Friday like no other we’ve lived before, Jesus is not simply present with us, but he is here, living it with us. Today, as we remember him dying on the cross, as we remember his crying out to God, may we feel comforted in our own cries of mourning and anger.

My God, My God, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?!

My God, My God, Why Have You Forsaken Me?

You can find the transcript of this recording here.

through the eyes of mary

I can’t help but think about how hard it was to be Mary during Jesus’ last days. Here was her baby boy, all grown up, being ridiculed and accused. Bruised, beaten, and hung on a cross. What was she thinking as she watched it happen?

Maybe she was remembering when the angel appeared to tell her she was with child. Remembering the fights she had with her family and with Joseph when she revealed the news. Thinking about all they had been through to have this child – this Son of God – the Messiah.

Or perhaps she was thinking about that special night when Jesus was born. The first time she held him in her arms. That long journey she and Joseph took while she was nine months pregnant. Searching for a safe place to give birth.

Maybe she was replaying the many miracles she had seen him perform. Thinking of all the lives he had changed during his three years of ministry.

She had to watch from afar as her oldest child – her beloved – breathed his last breath. She would never embrace him again. Never again see him laugh. She couldn’t even hold his hand as he died.

How did she survive it? Was she angry at God? Confused? Or did she know all along how it would end? How did she stop herself from trying to get him off the cross?

I imagine it was a little bit like this:

Mary’s faith has always astounded me. Her complete willingness to be God’s servant. To do whatever God asks of her. She willingly carried his child even though it was a major inconvenience to both her and Joseph. She, like any mother, loved Jesus more than she ever imagined. She watched him grow up. She helped him grow up.

And now … to watch him die on a cross …

She did it all … willingly … because she believed. She believed God was up to something amazing. She trusted in his promises.

My prayer these next few days is this: As I remember Jesus’ last days in preparation for the Easter celebration, may I be like Mary. May I be God’s willing servant – no matter how inconvenienced I might be. And may I always remember God’s promise to be faithful, no matter how dire the circumstances might seem.

This post was originally published at Bibledude.net.

Remembering Holy Week at Home

Palm Sunday is behind us and the Holy Triduum is before us. As we turn our eyes from the procession of the King to his final meal with the Disciples, we begin to think about how we can prepare our homes for Family Worship in a way we may have never done before.

Feeling overwhelmed and not sure where to start? I feel you. But don’t. Don’t allow yourself to feel anxious over making this week perfect. We have enough on our plates right now. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of your community during this very holy time and simply promise to spend a few minutes together as a family each day. That alone can bring a depth to this week that you may have never experienced before. Here are some simple ideas that I hope will bring you inspiration and a feeling of empowerment over this very special week.

Create a Family Altar

This can - and should - be simple. Use what you have around the house. We hung our palm crosses from Sunday on a piece of yarn and hung it from our mantel. On the mantel, we removed the decorations that are usually there and added a candle, a small vase of forsythia flowers, a wooden cross that we had on a bookshelf, and a Bible. If you don’t have a cross of some sort, draw one on a piece of paper. If you don’t have a mantel, use a coffee table, or a side table, or a corner of your kitchen counter or dining table. Don’t overthink it - you want your altar to be in the space where you will gather as a family over the week’s activities.

Maundy Thursday

Eat Dinner Together

Maundy Thursday is all about Jesus’ last meal with his Disciples. Remember that story by eating dinner together. It doesn’t matter what you eat, just set apart the time to share a meal with one another, and allow no interruptions. I suggest you keep the meal simple, so that you have as little cleanup as possible. Our church sent out a wonderful Family Worship liturgy that we will use, but you don’t have to use any liturgy at all. As you’re eating dinner, read the story from John 13:1-17 and 31b-35, where Jesus washes the feet of his Disciples and foreshadows his betrayal.

Family Foot Washing

Continue your remembrance of Jesus’ last meal with a family foot washing. All you need is a big bowl of warm water and a dry towel. As the members of your family finish their meal, gently go to where they are seated and wash their feet. My guess is by the time you finish washing their feet, someone will volunteer to do yours as well!

Strip your Altar

After you’ve finished your meal and the washing of feet, do the work of clearing off the table and cleaning up together. Remind your children - especially if they are younger - that this is the day that begins our journey to the cross and the empty tomb and invite everyone to gather around your Family Altar. Ask one family member to read Psalm 22 out loud, or you can read it out loud and invite them to strip your altar. As the Psalm is being read, gently remove everything from the altar one at a time, and bring it to a place in your house where it will be out of sight. You’ll want to keep it close though, so you can use it again for Easter Sunday! When your altar is empty, and the Psalm is over, say the Lord’s Prayer together and remain in silence for just a minute or two.

Good Friday

This can be a hard day for your youngest or most sensitive children. One of my favorite ways of remembering Good Friday with my littles is by reading The Tale of Three Trees together. Sit around your empty altar as you read the book - or you can find a video of the story here. After the story, allow time for conversation, and then practice intentional silence together. Remember - just one moment of silence can be hard for tinies, so don’t push them to be silent for too long! Finish your remembrance of the death of Jesus by singing the old hymn Were You There together.

Earlier this weekend, a dear friend of mine posted a picture of her family altar saying, “It’s going to be the Holy Week I always wanted but never had the time to implement.” My prayer for us all this Holy Week is that we seize the opportunity to just be present for the final days of Jesus’ life. Many blessings to you and your family as you embark on the journey together.

Artwork by Pieter Bruegel the Elder.

Celebrating Palm Sunday At Home

The hardest part of self-isolating during this strange time of our lives is that it is encroaching on the holiest of weeks. I can’t tell you how many times over the last week I’ve wanted to just cancel Holy Week and pretend it will happen later in the year. I miss my church. I miss singing with the organ. I miss sitting in the Sanctuary and simply feeling the presence of God.

My church, like many others, has been live-streaming worship on Sunday mornings, but it doesn’t really feel like worship when I sit on my couch and watch a screen. There’s no standing and sitting as one big group of people. There are no pews to sit in (or crawl under if you’re my youngest daughter). There are no hugs. There’s no sitting around tables talking about your week as your kids go back for more and more cookies and cupcakes. I’ve found that the addition of technology to church has been more of a damper on this time of stay-at-home than it has been uplifting, so we’ve just been pretending that we’re choosing to miss church these last few weeks.

But ya’ll … this Sunday is Palm Sunday. The Sunday where we remember Jesus’ triumphant entry to Jerusalem and begin our remembrance of his last days. I can’t just pretend to not go to Palm Sunday worship. I’m not sure I’ve ever, in my entire life, missed worship during Holy Week. The last thing I really want to do is create my own Palm Sunday celebration - but if my only choices are to pretend it’s not happening or make a meaningful celebration at home, I’ll chose the latter.

If you - like me - are finding yourself in this place of mourning and sadness, I encourage you to take a few steps to make your Palm Sunday a meaningful one. I thought I’d share with you the things we’re going to do together as a family. I’m keeping it simple, because the last thing I need is anxiety over making meaningful experiences. Remember - the most meaningful part of the day will be the connections and the memories that you make.

Wear Purple! 

Purple is the color of royalty and power. One of the most profound parts of Palm Sunday is the realization that Jesus - the King - rides into town on a donkey. It’s the story of a royal parade - so dress for the occasion!

Start with a Parade!

Remember Jesus’ procession with your own parade around your house or neighborhood. If you don’t have palms, collect pine boughs from your backyard. Or make paper palms - there’s a great tutorial here and a cool printable here.

There are several songs you can use for this procession - one of my favorites is “Prepare Ye the Way of the Lord.”  True story - I had no idea until today that this song was in Godspell. We used to sing it at church camp and it’s always one of my favorite Call to Worship songs. Thanks to my good friend DHawk for pointing out the connection. Another option that we often use in church is All Glory Laud and Honor.

Read the Bible Together

After you’ve had your parade, sit down and read aloud the story of Jesus’ procession into Jerusalem. We’ll be reading the account from Matthew, because it’s what our church will be using. You can find it in Matthew 21:1-11. After you’ve read the story together, talk about what it may have felt like to be there, on the streets of Jerusalem, as Jesus passed you by. What parts of the passage stuck out to you as you heard it? Did you notice something new?

When you feel like your discussion is complete, say a prayer together, thanking God for the words. Pray for people and situations on your heart, and just allow each other a brief moment of silence and reflection.

Create Something Together

Being creative is one of the best ways to make powerful memories together - and is one way that you can make your Palm Sunday extra special in the absence of a regular worship service.

If you were able to get palms, consider turning them into palm crosses to hang up around your house. You could hang them in your windows, or on a mantel, or you can save them and use them on your Holy Week altar (more about that coming soon!)

Or, maybe you want to do a simple painting of palms to hang on your wall, or in your window, or on your family altar. You can use this same tutorial to draw palms with sidewalk chalk on your driveway or neighborhood sidewalks (but remember to stay away from other people!)

If you’re feeling really crafty and have lots of arts supplies, consider making a hosanna banner. Cut out a piece of white fabric - or you can use a big piece of white paper. Use craft paint or felt letters to put the word “hosanna” on your fabric or paper. Then hang it on your front door for the whole neighborhood to see!

Whatever you choose to do, you will always look back and remember “that time when the churches were closed and we had to remember our faith at home.” My prayer for you this weekend is that you find a way to make those memories powerful ones. May God bless you and sustain you in your journey this week.

Photo by Grant Whitty on Unsplash.

On Giving Thanks in a Time Such As This

Yesterday I granted myself - and you - permission to grieve. Permission to feel anger and sadness. Permission to wonder all the terrible wonders that are rolling around in your head. Permission to admit that this is not normal. This is not our new normal. Don’t think of it like that … and ignore those people who do. Life will change after this, but I’m confident that the changes are going to be for the better in the long run.

So today, I’m turning the coin. I am - in true Pollyanna fashion - finding the good in the midst of this struggle. Because there’s always good. I’m looking at the ways in which our life might look different at the end of this - and giving thanks for the so many positives in my life.

I’m giving thanks for my husband’s job. A job where he can do all of his work remotely. A job that is secure and important and isn’t going anywhere in the midst of an economic downturn. A job where he is not on the frontlines. A job where he is allowed and encouraged to be safe, at home.

And because he’s not doing his usual commute, we have time every day to explore the hundreds of hiking trails around us. I’m giving so much thanks for the early Spring weather that has been gifted to us this year. Weather that’s allowing us to get outdoors and enjoy sunshine.

I’m celebrating the empty calendar. I made a list of all the things I’d do if I had no other obligations, and I’m crossing a few off each day. Yesterday I made homemade sourdough bread, preserved Meyer lemons, and Strawberry Lemon Marmalade. Today I have peach butter on the stove.

My heart is beyond full for my family - who taught me from a very early age how to store food during peak harvest seasons. My grandma and aunts taught me how to garden. My mom taught me how to can jams and jellies and peppers and salsa. I’ve been living this life of food preservation all my life - and now I know just how important it is.

I’m giving thanks for my local farms who provide good food for my family. CSAs who take such good care of us in peak harvest seasons that we have plenty of food in the freezer to get us through at least a month without buying much of anything at all. Farms who believe in the importance of serving their communities, operate year round, and are doing what they can to provide food for their people in the midst of this time of uncertainty.

I’m singing praises to God through virtual worship services and evening prayers and hymn sings in a way that I haven’t done in a really long time. I’m able to “attend” worship services at churches that are so near and dear to me - yet are hundreds of miles away - and it’s making my heart break right open into this mess of joy and sadness all at the same time. Isn’t that what faith is all about after all? Sadness for the world as it is, while at the same time this immense feeling of joy that God loves us and we belong to God. The many church communities that have sustained me throughout my almost-40-years of life are now sustaining me from afar.

I’m ever so thankful for a craft room full of yarn and sewing supplies. For a basement full of scrap wood and building tools. For an extended family who - although they are super far away - can walk me through just about any craft or building project I could ever want to attempt.

I continue to be amazed at how we ended up in this place we now call home and just how much it fills us up. We’re surrounded by woods and trails and it just feels like a safe haven in the middle of a storm. We can climb trees, explore nature, lay in the hammock, swing in the swing, plant a garden, or just bring a blanket and read a book outside. The vast space that belongs to us is not lost on me in this time of “staying at home.”

I’m grateful for the hard work I’ve done over the last two years in really understanding what a good homeschool life looks like for us. We have a library full of books right in our own home. We have puzzles and games and toys to spark creativity and imagination. We have an entire room of craft and art supplies. We have thousands of ideas that we’ve been too busy to work on, and now we actually have time to dig in to some of those things. I know that my kids are learning even when we aren’t doing “lessons” and I’m not afraid of days full of free play.

These are just a few of the things I’m giving thanks for today. The list goes on and on, and as I write this, my privilege is not lost on me. But just as yesterday was for feeling sad, today is for giving thanks. For filling up my cup with praise and thanksgiving so that I can look forward to how I can use these gifts that I’m given - this privilege that I’m living - to help those people around me that aren’t in the same place.

Tell me …. what are you giving thanks for today?

Photo by Rajiv Bajaj on Unsplash.

Permission to Wonder

This isn’t normal this time we’re living in. Read that again … This isn’t normal.

I’m giving so much thanks that we homeschool in a time such as this. Our routine doesn’t have to shift too much. Our extracurriculars have been cancelled, our playdates postponed, our libraries closed, our vacations on hold. But our day-to-day life doesn’t have to change much. We’re used to being home all day. We’re used to preparing three meals at home every day. Going on hikes. Playing outside. My girls are amazing at playing independently - and together. They are just used to it. Creativity abounds. I mean, if I’m really honest with myself, I’m a tiny bit grateful that I have an excuse to just stay home and say no to all the requests that come my way. I’ve been longing for an extended time of rest and Sabbath.

But let’s be real …. when that rest and Sabbath is forced on you, it doesn’t have the same effect. I find myself feeling anxious every morning as I wake. I feel my creativity lacking. My motivation has tanked. We are doing the bare minimum when it comes to lessons each day. That desire I originally had to just plow through the rest of our year has now dissipated, as I now wonder if our summer plans will be cancelled as well.

I wonder if the oldest will get to perform in the dance competitions she’s been preparing for since Fall.

I wonder if the youngest will ever go back to gymnastics.

I wonder how I will continue to be the Pollyanna in the family.

I wonder if we’ll be told we can’t even go to our favorite parks to hike.

I wonder if the beaches will be closed.

I wonder if my favorite local businesses will survive this mess.

I wonder what life will look like in 2 weeks. In 4 weeks. In 2 months.

I wonder what my CSA pickups will look like come June. Will we be able to pick our own veggies from boxes touched by others, or will we still be living in a time where fear of germs prevails?

I wonder if our government will put us on a “total lockdown” even though the U.S. is founded upon principles of liberty and freedom. It’s hard to not trust your government to look out for your best interests, you know?

I wonder if someone I know and love will fall ill because of this virus. Will they die? If they do, will we be able to celebrate their life?

I wonder how we’ll celebrate Holy Week, if we can’t celebrate The Last Supper with our church family.

I wonder how we’ll celebrate the risen Christ. BECAUSE LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, COVID-19. NOT EVEN YOU CAN KEEP JESUS IN THE TOMB!

And as I wonder all of these things, I begin to feel guilty for the trivialness of my worries. And then I feel gratitude that these are the things I’m worried about. I’m not worried about whether or not we’ll keep our house. I’m not worried about whether or not we’ll have enough food to eat. I’m not worried about whether we’ll get bored. I’m not worried about how we’ll pay our bills, or if we’ll lose the one source of income we have.

If your worries are like mine, I want you to hear me say that your worries matter. Today I’m granting you permission to feel sad. To feel mournful over the things that don’t feel normal. To give yourself some space to just process what’s happening. Allow yourself to just BE. Take some time to play with your kids. Make a list of all the things you’ve been wanting to do, and just pick one to throw yourself into. Find a good audiobook to listen to. Stories make us all feel better.

Regardless of what you see on social media, it’s OKAY to not force yourself - or your kids - into a new routine at home right away. It’s okay to give them a week or two of unstructured play. It’s okay for them - and you - to feel bored. It’s okay to not rush into this new virtual-schooling/working life that is being thrust upon you.

It’s okay for you to wonder. It’s okay for you to feel sad. It’s okay for you to feel a twinge of happiness that you have an excuse to say no to all the demands that were wearing you out just two weeks ago. It’s okay for you to simultaneously love and hate all the virtual meeting opportunities that are coming your way.

This time we are living in. It is NOT normal. Let’s not pretend like it is.

Photo by Matthew Henry on Unsplash.

On Being a Team

This post was originally written in 2013, but got lost in the transition to a new web host. As I discovered it today I felt a need to revive it. Although some of our circumstances have changed - I no longer have to rock and nurse babies to sleep and he no longer has to stuff diapers - but he still stays up way past the time I’ve gone to bed doing the chores that still need to be done. He still loves me more every day. And I continue to be grateful for the gift of him in my life.

I don’t know how I snagged you. After all the brokenness in my life…I don’t know how in the world I found you. My teammate. My soul mate. My partner.

You are the yin to my yang.

The peanut butter to my jelly.

The jam to my toast.

The chocolate to my milk.

You get the picture.

We are good on our own, each one of us. But together … well, together we are unstoppable.

Many nights, when I rock and nurse the little one to sleep, you are hard at work. Cleaning up dinner, stuffing diapers, vacuuming, sometimes you are even scrubbing the shower. So many men would do their own thing – maybe sit down to watch a ballgame, or perhaps spend their time playing video games. But not you – you clean. Without being asked. Willingly. Lovingly. With every sweep of the broom, you are giving me a gift.

It doesn’t go unnoticed. I’m so thankful for every little thing you do.

But tonight, as I rock the little one to sleep, you take a break from all that work and meet with your men’s small group. I can’t help but think about what a good role model you are for men everywhere. You are the kind of husband every woman wants. The kind of daddy every child needs. A man of insurmountable faith, not ashamed to be the kind of man God has created you to be.

You love me. So tenderly. So completely. More than I ever could have hoped for.

We are so different than we were just a few years ago. So much more confident in who we are. Together. And apart.

I can remember calling you late in the night because I was terrified of being alone. I remember your promise – that you loved me – and that even though you weren’t beside me, I wasn’t alone. I remember shedding so many tears – mostly out of fear. Afraid that I would screw up again. Afraid I would push you away. Afraid I wasn’t good enough. That I was destined to be alone forever.

And I remember your firm response – I love you dammit. I’m not going anywhere.

I remember you telling me I was a princess through God’s royalty. I remember thinking you were crazy when you said that. So much of me wanted to hate that imagery – but I had never been called a princess before. Princesses are beautiful – and loved. I had never believed I was either. Until then. And as much as I hated the imagery of God as King – it was the exact image I needed at the moment. It helped me begin to understand just how loved I am.

I look back on those early days and I can hardly believe you fell in love with me. I was so weak. So broken. Such a mess. But you didn’t see any of that. You saw my beauty. My strength. My passion.

You helped me find my confidence. You continue to push me to find my voice – and to be the voice for others. You are … my other half. My better half.

I’m so thankful to be on the same team with you. So blessed to share life with you.